Proud 2B Half Irish

One evening, twenty-two years ago, I was sitting in a classroom in Santa Ana and wishing I was in San Francisco. It was St. Patrick’s Day and I wanted to be celebrating with an Irish Coffee at the Buena Vista. They specialize in Irish Coffee, making it with Tullamore Dew whiskey.
Instead, I went home from my night class and turned on a Clancy Brother’s special. I grew up on the Irish songs of the Clancy Bros. On my TV screen, Tommy Clancy was talking about the success the group and the toll it took. He talked about the parties every night and how much drinking he was doing. He knew he had to stop or it would ruin his life. Then he looked straight into the camera and said, “I haven’t had a drink in ten years.” Whoa!
I couldn’t believe someone could go a week without drinking, much less a decade. I quit drinking couple of months later and whenever I wanted a beer, cocktail, or glass of wine I would repeat Tommy Clancy’s words. The power of positive thinking: what the mind believes, it can achieve.
Today is St. Patrick’s Day and I’m sitting in Starbucks on Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco, kitty-corner from the Buena Vista. It’s the first time I’ve been in this city on this day. I’m going to go for a run to the Golden Gate bridge and when I return I plan to toast the Irish with an Irish Coffee at the Buena Vista, hold the Tullamore Dew.
In keeping with my tradition of a joke on this day, I leave you with this.


What It Means To Be Irish:

1) You will never play professional basketball.

2) You swear very well.

3) At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral home owner or holds political office.

4) You think you sing very well.

5) You have no idea how to make a long story short!

6) There isn't a big difference between you losing your temper or killing someone...

7) Much of your childhood meals were boiled.

8) You have never hit your head on a ceiling.

9) You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer.

10) You're strangely poetic after a few beers.

11) You are, therefore, poetic a lot.

12) You will be punched for no good reason...a lot.

13) Some punches directed at you are from legacies of past generations.

14) Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named Mary, Catherine or Eileen... and there is at least one member of your family with the full name of Mary Catherine Eileen.

15) Someone in your family is incredibly cheap. It is more than likely you.

16) You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.

17) You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start talking.

18) You're not nearly as funny as you think you are...but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency.

19) There was not a huge difference between your last Wake and your last keg party.

20) You are, or know someone, named Murph.

21) If you don't know Murph then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph or Mac then you know Sully. Then you probably know Sully McMurphy.

22) You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.

23) You have Irish Alzheimer's... your forget everything but the grudges!

24) "Irish Stew" is a euphemism for "boiled leftovers."

25) All of your losses are alcohol related (loss of virginity, loss or drivers license, loss of money, loss of job, loss of significant other, loss of teeth from punch...) but it never stops you from drinking.


Ahem, I can relate to many of these! Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone!