Irish Wisdom

It's St. Patrick's Day--time for my yearly Irish jokes!

O'Toole died and went to Heaven. Upon his arrival, a concerned St. Peter met O'Toole at the Pearly Gates.

"I'm sorry, O'Toole," says St. Peter, "but Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to hold an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden on Heavenly Arrivals."

"To be sure," answers O'Toole. "And what would this Entrance Exam consist of?"

"Just 3 questions," replies St. Peter.

"And what might they be?" asks O'Toole.

"The first," St. Peter starts, "is: 'Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?' The second is: 'How many seconds are there in a year?' And
the third question is: 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'"

"Now go away and think about these questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me," St. Peter tells him.

O'Toole leaves and gives these three questions some considerable thought. The following morning St. Peter calls O'Toole and asks if he had considered the questions, to which O'Toole replies, "Indeed I have."

Question 1 "Well then," says St. Peter, "Which two days of the week start with the letter T?"

O'Toole replies with a grin, "Today and Tomorrow."

St. Peter ponders this answer for some time, and decides that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

Question 2 "Well then, O'Toole, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?" St Peter continues. "How many seconds are in a year?"

O'Toole proudly responds, "Just the 12!"

"Only 12?" exclaims St. Peter. "How did you arrive at that figure, O'Toole?"
"Twas easy," says O'Toole. "There's the second of January, the second of February right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds."

St. Peter looks at O'Toole and says, "I need some time to ponder that before I can give you a decision." And he walks away shaking his head.

A short time later St. Peter returns to O'Toole. "I'll allow the answer to stand, O'Toole, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven."

Question 3 "Now O'Toole, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in 'Waltzing Matilda?'"

O'Toole replies, 'Of the t'ree questions, I found this to be the easiest to answer."

"Really!" exclaims St. Peter, 'And what is the answer, Mr. O'Toole?"

"Tis Andy."

"Andy!"

"Aye, Andy," confirms O'Toole.

This totally flabbergasts St. Peter, and he paces back and forth, deliberating over the answer. Finally, he can not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to O'Toole, enquires, "O'Toole, how in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?"

"Easy," laughs O'Toole. "Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his Billy boiled."

And so Timothy O'Toole entered Heaven.

May the luck of the Irish enfold you.
May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!